I’ve always thought that people who love plants generally tend to be generous. In my neighborhood alone, there are three little free plant libraries in which you’ll find everything plant-related – from cuttings to baby plants, pots, seeds and books. We donate plants, we take plants, and we swap plants via these little cabinets of joy.
It doesn’t just happen with plant lovers, either.
I bet you have someone in your life who tried to get you into a fad tech, a particular fitness regime (CrossFit, perhaps), a popular TV show or a new board game.
It’s only natural that we want to share our hobbies and the things we like with friends and family. So when the occasion arises to buy them a gift, we’re thinking: I’ll get them a plant. I bet they’re gonna love it!
Spoiler alert! They probably won’t love it.
Or at least not as much as we plant geeks do. I know there are so many reasons why houseplants make an excellent gift. But I’m here to tell you a few scenarios in which you shouldn’t gift live plants (and a few ideas of what would make a good present).
1. The gift recipient might not even like houseplants.
I know! How dare they? [Audible gasp!]
Believe it or not, there are people out there who have zero interest in having a plant as decor. In fact, keeping plants indoors is not even on their radar.
While I walk around ooh-ing and aww-ing at houseplants in public – in people’s windows, at the library, in the restaurant lobby – I have a friend who simply would never notice plants if I didn’t point them out to her. She doesn’t care. She’s not interested. And she’ll certainly not get more interested if she got saddled with one all of a sudden.
What can you gift them instead?
In this case, I think their gateway to liking plants could be a coffee table book on plants or gardening. My reasoning is that, even though they may not be interested in house plants per se, the breathtaking allure of a beautiful garden might pique their botanical curiosities. Even better if you happen to know whether they have a favorite flower or a favorite season.
Here are some of my favorite coffee table garden books to give you some inspiration:
Dreamscapes: Inspiration and Beauty in Gardens Near and Far by Claire Takacs
Adventures in Eden: An Intimate Tour of the Private Gardens of Europe by Carolyn Mullet
A Home in Bloom: Four Enchanted Seasons with Flowers by Christie Purifoy
Peonies: Beautiful Varieties for Home and Garden by Jane Eastoe and Georgianna Lane
2. The gift recipient can’t keep a houseplant alive.
Some people like plants, and they truly try to keep them alive. But having houseplants is often not compatible with their tendencies.
They’re too anxious, and they overwater. The plant dies.
They’re too forgetful, and they underwater. The plant dies.
After trial and error, they get the watering schedule right, but they let the plant burst at the seams with root overcrowding.
Even I – in possession of a whole lot of knowledge and skills on how to care for houseplants – have managed to kill the unkillable pothos vine. And a few other plants as well. I have thrown out my fair share of houseplants that simply weren’t a good fit. (Don’t worry, I composted most of them.)
No matter how hard they try, these people have zero knowledge and zero skills. They have no clue how to tell how much water a plant needs. Or about what kind of potting mix to use when repotting.
Not to mention more obscure skills such as soil sniffing and soil aeration.
But surely they can learn how to care for a plant?
Sure, if they wanted to, they could. We were all newbies once.
But have they ever expressed the desire to? And even when they did, was it just to be nice to you and connect to you based on one of your hobbies?
What can you get for them instead?
My first idea for a gift would be an arrangement that takes the guesswork out of watering. I’ve seen some houseplants, such as the syngonium and the crassula in the photo below, that are “planted” in water. All you need to do is clean the little tank and refresh the water every month. Do you think they can handle that?
If they’re truly interested in learning, I’d give them a book on houseplants before bestowing a plant on them. A few of my favorite books that are both informative and pretty to look at include:
The Kew Gardener’s Guide to Growing House Plants by Kay Maguire
The New Plant Parent by Darryl Cheng
How to Make a Plant Love You: Cultivate Green Space in Your Home and Heart by Summer Rayne Oakes
3. The person you’re gifting a plant to is already overwhelmed.
I don’t have to tell you this and I’m sure you’re already experiencing it in your day to day life: we have a limited bandwidth for all of life’s admin. Juggling work, family life, socializing, caring for ourselves and others is overwhelming. And even if someone seems to be keeping it together very well on the surface, they may be a hot mess on the inside.
So the last thing this person needs is another thing to be overwhelmed with.
To them, a houseplant to try to keep alive is just one more thing to remember to water, clean and repot every now and then. Not to mention that they may have kids or pets (or both!) who have made “messing with houseplants” their mission in life.
Even with the best intentions in the world from everyone involved, the plant may succumb to neglect. Are you ok with that?
Whenever I think that houseplants are not that overwhelming, I have to add the caveat: for me. But other things would be, especially if I’ve never expressed an interest in them.
I mean, I imagine getting an ant farm as a gift. It’s a sweet idea in practice, but I would have neither the patience nor the inclination to learn about it at this point in my life.
What can you give them instead?
Stick to their wishlist, if they have one. I’m betting they already have some things on there that would help them keep their head above water.
4. The gift recipient is a houseplant lover.
Now, I know what you’re thinking.
“If I know they love houseplants, then a houseplant is the perfect gift, right?”
Unfortunately, probably not.
Think about your own hobbies. As your skills grow, you become more knowledgeable about the tools and materials needed to do it well. You may purchase materials from specific vendors or save up for better tools.
So, (as an example) when a well-meaning friend who hears that you like to knit buys you knitting needles and acrylic yarn from the local big-box craft store, the gift will most likely be useless to you.
Your knowledge and skill in the hobby surpass the average person’s, making it harder for them to judge what would be a good gift. The same goes for those of us who love houseplants.
It’s safe to say if your intended gift recipient is a houseplant lover, they’re probably very picky about what plants they choose to buy and care for. This is a hobby that quickly becomes niche.
At the very least, I wouldn’t suggest buying them a plant unless you’ve asked them what they like or collect first.
5. The gift recipient has incompatible life plans.
I’m not the kind of person who remembers gifts from years ago, but I still remember this one. My husband and I were in the middle of a significant downsizing in order to move (a very) long-distance.
We had spent months doing whatever we could to declutter the house – selling, donating, recycling, the works. I was even actively getting rid of my houseplant collection because it was unfeasible to take it with us a long plane ride away.
Just a couple of months before our moving out day, someone I love and adore gave us a gift that I could only describe as ‘cumbersome.’ It wouldn’t fit any of the moving boxes, it didn’t fit our future lifestyle, it didn’t fit our plans. And it was one more thing I had to get rid of; all the while feeling very guilty and ungrateful for doing so.
Anyway, the purpose of this rather long story is to encourage you to consider the plans of the person that you’re thinking of gifting a houseplant to.
Are they thinking of relocating? Are they thinking of traveling in an RV, living the digital nomad life? Do they decamp to a cabin in the woods for two months every summer? Is one of their resolutions to become a minimalist?
If they’ve shared their plans with you, respect them.
What can you give them instead?
Think of what could be useful either in their transition or in their new life.
If they’re moving, I bet they would appreciate a nice meal out when they’re surrounded by stacks of moving boxes. Once they’ve reached their destination, you can arrange for a plant delivery from a local shop.
6. The gift recipient doesn’t have the right environment for plants.
I left this factor last because it may be one that’s easier to work with.
Let’s say your gift recipient loves plants, knows how to take care of them, and is not facing any big life changes.
But at the same time, they live in a north-facing house that doesn’t get enough sun. Or in a basement apartment. Or in a tiny studio. Perhaps in a dorm room.
In this case, you could gift them a houseplant that can handle low light and is low maintenance. Have a look at this list.
But I would most likely not burden them with a plant unless they specifically asked for one.
What can you gift them instead?
If you still want to give your loved one a botanically themed gift, consider some of these ideas:
If you’re looking for a Christmas gift, try a nice arrangement of potted spring bulbs, such as crocuses, daffodils, hyacinths or cyclamens. These will last indoors for weeks; and when the flowers are gone, you can just transplant the bulbs outside or compost them.
In the summer months, a visit to a botanical garden or a year-pass to one might convey your love for plants while keeping the clutter at bay. It would be something that you could do together.
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